Who's That Girl?
by PerverseLeigh
Summary: The Doctor wants to see interesting things in Saigon. TARDIS wants to land on Serenity. Mal wants to know why he's got a SECOND lunatic on his boat!
1. Chapter 1

**As always, I own none of this... I just love it and can't stop the signal! ;)**

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"What is that noise?" Mall yelled at no one in particular, then punched a button on the com. "Kaylee!" The ship vibrated and lurched slightly.

"Yes Cap'in?" Her voice sounded thin and tinny coming from the small speaker of the com.

"What are you doin to my gorram ship?" He fought to keep from yelling again.

"It's not her..." River murmured from the navigation console where Wash was showing her how to pilot Serenity.

"What?" He glanced at her and she scrunched up her nose as if she scented something foul... or her brother's cooking.

"S'not me, Cap'in!" Kaylee echoed River.

"What do you mean, it's not you?" His voice was rising, indicating his rising level of alarm.

"It's not her, Captain." River said again, more forcefully.

"Then, who is making my ship make that noise?" He barked at the slight girl.

"It's not your ship."

"It sure IS my gorram ship!"

"No," River shook her head at his thickness. How could he not know? "The sound is not coming from Serenity."

"What?" Mal was completely perplexed. "What is it coming from?"

"Sexy." River reached up, flipped the auto-pilot switches and stood in anticipation of his next question.

"What? Sexy?" He followed the spooky child out of the cockpit.

They walked down the aging metal corridor, taking a sharp turn toward the passenger cabins then across the catwalk and down the stairs to the floor of the cargo bay. Mal halted in his tracks as they turned around to face the hollow under the catwalk.

There, under the metal grating, sitting all unassuming like it belonged there, was a bright blue crate with a light on top. River walked right up to it and patted it like a child.

"Hello, Sexy." She cooed at it, beaming her brightest smile. "Yes, I'm River. Nice to meet you too!"

Mal continued to stare at the crate. It held him riveted as people began to filter in from far corners of the ship.

"Jayne!" He yelled into the empty space next to him, without taking his eyes from the blue crate.

"Yeah, Boss!" Jayne answered from the catwalk right above the box.

"Did you load that?" He pointed and Jayne leaned over the rail to look.

"Nuh-uh!" He grunted, "Not me."

The crew were muttering to each other, speculating on the origin of the big crate, but all noise dropped off when the front of the crate cracked open. A head with a mop of brown curls popped out of the door, supported by a scrawny neck, and looked around the bay then swiveled to look all the way up at the catwalk.

"Oh," The man said, brightly. "Well, this isn't Saigon... hmmm..." He stepped out of the box and turned his back on them to look at it. He turned back around as he heard the clicks of guns cocking and the whine of plasma warming up. "Oh..." he said again, frowning.

"Ya mind tellin me what yer doin on my ship?" Mal growled at the skinny man.

"Not at all!" The man beamed at the barrel of Mal's gun. "As soon as I find out, I'll tell you!"

Everyone turned at the tinkling sound of River's laughter. She was sitting, cross-legged, beside the box, chatting at it and patting it's side panel.

"River! Come away from there, girl." Mal ordered, but she ignored him. "Simon! Git yer gorram sister away from there." He demanded.

The dark-clad doctor scampered around behind Mal and dove in to stand River up, but she batted his hands away.

"No, Simon." She scolded him, "Don't interrupt. It's rude."

The skinny man frowned slightly as River went back to her conversation with the side of his box. "Hmm... I suppose they have a lot to talk about." He swiveled his head back to Mal and stuck out his hand. "I'm the Doctor."

"I don't like doctors, Mal." Jayne growled and glowered at Simon.

"We already got ourselves a doctor." Mal told the skinny man. "Who's brought us a world of brightness and joy to lighten the universe of hurt he dumped on us when he made his sister a stow away on this very ship. I'm Malcolm Reynolds and this here's my boat. Mind tellin me why I shouldn't shoot you now for stowin away."

River chose that time to giggle again, her chime-like laughter cutting through the dense fog of suspicion that filled the cargo bay.

"Ah, yes..." The skinny man frowned again. "Not A doctor. The Doctor."

"Doctor, Who?" Simon asked.

"Precisely." River sighed.

"I'm sorry," Mal flicked his eyes to the girl, but only for half a moment. "What?"

"Breaks things to fix them." River twittered in her odd way, walking her fingers along the side of the blue crate.

"HEY!" The Doctor frowned harder at her, "Do not! Well, yes I suppose I do... but just things that are wrong... and things that are around the wrong things... and... Hey! That's rude; you know?" He pointed at her trying to redirect the conversation. "You shouldn't be digging around in other people's minds."

She looked at him in puzzlement. "Didn't. Can't." She stated simply and slapped the side of the box again. "Sexy told me."

"Did she?" He looked puzzled, as well, "Hmmm, well good for her."

Mal cleared his throat and the Doctor turned back to him. "Oh, yes. The shooting. Uhm..." He looked about him and noted that Malcolm Reynolds was not the only person holding a gun trained on him. He lifted the breast of his unbuttoned jacket away from his thin body revealing his belt. "I'm unarmed...?"

"Sounds like he don't know if he's got a gun, Cap." Jayne was practically drooling in his expectation of an execution.

"I haven't got a gun." The skinny man said. "I don't believe in them. My wife would like you." he jerked his head toward Jayne, who had come to stand on the other side of the captain from where Zoe had planted herself. Jayne curled his lip and looked to the captain.

"Let's just shoot him an be done with it." Jayne suggested.

"NO!" River screamed in a weird, two toned voice, her eyes lit with a strange glow. She pushed Simon out of her way and stalked to Jayne, shoving her finger in his face. "Nasty man! Never washes, lives dirty... Don't shoot my thief!"

"Shit, girl!" Jayne backed away from the small woman, face ashen. "Doc, I thought you said she was better!"

"Oh, dear." The Doctor said. He pulled a thin silver tube with a blue tip from his inner pocket and toggled it on. All guns re-trained on The Doctor as his tube started humming.

"NO! No, just a sonic screwdriver." He held it up for them to inspect. "Why do they never get that?"

"A what?" Kaylee asked, interest piqued.

"A screwdriver. It uses sonic pulses to manipulate... stuff." He pointed it toward River and the screwdriver's humming pitched higher. He adjusted a setting and the thing's humming turned into a warbling whistle. "AH! A psychic! Oh, that's better. But you should really come out of there before you hurt her."

River's face screwed up and she stuck her tongue out but the weird light in her eyes faded and she looked around her, a bit dismayed. She shrugged and stalked away toward the cockpit. She had better things to do.

The Doctor looked back at Mal. "Oh, come now, Captain!" he admonished, "You can't shoot an unarmed man!"

Mal made a quick decision. "Zoe, check him for arms."

The lithe woman holstered her gun and strode forward. She felt his jacket pockets first, pulling out a few things and tossing them to the floor. A small bottle of some auburn liquid, a yo-yo, a letter opener, a small wallet with a licence to breed cows on Persephone tucked in it. She moved onto his pants, feeling down his legs and around his socks, pulling out a few more things; a small roll of black tape, a skeleton key, a handkerchief wrapped around a softened granola bar. Tucked in his shirt pocket was a small sewing kit, a pencil and a few leaves of yellow paper.

"Nice suspenders..." Jayne quipped and the skinny man grinned.

"Yeah... Suspenders are cool."

"There's nothing harmful, Sir." Zoe confirmed.

"Alright, then." Mal adjusted his suspenders, "Let's take this conversation somewhere a bit more comfortable."

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**And so... This is in the same universe as "Death Dance" and "A Little Meddling Never Hurt". I seriously recomend reading those. In a less wibbly-wobbly order, this story comes first, then Death Dance, then Meddling**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own any of this... I just play with it and return it ;) **

**AN: Did someone say "Spacy Battle?**

A couple days later, after a particularly stimulating stint of helping Kaylee patch up the engines enough to get them to the next port, they were sitting at the dinner table mulling over some particularly twisty bit of social convention and time travel when Jayne offered his opinion.

"I don't see why you can't just take your fancy blue box, pick it up right before it's dee-stroyed an give it to them what needs it." He went back to eating his protein glop.

The Doctor stared at him, dumbfounded while the others continued to eat. They all fully expected The Doctor to shoot down his idea in his high-handed way.

"You, my friend," The strange, skinny man in brown clothes pointed at Jayne, "Are a genius!"

All activity at the table stopped.

River's eyes went wide as they shot to Jayne. Wash moved his food out of the way when Simon snorted in surprised stupification, started choking and Kaylee smacked him on the back. Mal and Zoe were both caught, gape mouthed, in the middle of shoveling food in; only difference being that Zoe had actually swallowed her previous bite before trying to put more in.

"Uh..." Jayne had _no_ idea on how to take that, "wut?"

"Thank you!" The Doctor snatched up Jayne's hand and pumped it up and down.

"You serious?" Mal choked out.

"Hardly ever." The Doctor grinned at the Captain. "But that is a great idea! It won't change history at all! Keep it simple, I always say!"

"Do not." River muttered into her protein glop.

"Shush, you."

"Meh!" She stuck her tongue out at him again. "Jayne's big idea; difficult to make things easy..." She started humming to herself, thinking and twirling a strand of hair around her fingers. No one saw Jayne's slight smile.

"Well... yes." The Doctor agreed with the crazy girl. "I didn't say it would be easy, but all we have to do is figure out the exact time it was melted down and snatch it right out of the furnace."

"Oh-Kay!" River agreed in a sing-song voice. "Need parts."

"Well, I might have something in the TARDIS..." The Doctor frowned in thought.

"You have spare parts on the TARDIS?" Kaylee asked, incensed. "Why did we go through all that, this afternoon, if'n you got _parts_?"

"Ah..." The Doctor yanked himself away from his thoughts and grinned in his boyish way. "It was fun...?"

Kaylee flung a spoon at him. He ducked and the spoon land landed in Mal's lap after bouncing off his chest.

"All _right_!" The Captain flung his hands in the air. "No projectiles at the table! Them's the rules, an _you_ know that, Kaylee!" He pointed his finger at the mechanic.

"Tell ya what." Kaylee suggested. "Why don't we go get the parts and I'll forget you were holdin out on me."

"I'm in!" Wash chimed in.

"Ah..." The Doctor grimaced, "They're all over the TARDIS."

"Well," Kaylee insisted, "How hard can it be to find some parts in that lil blue box?"

The Doctor gave her his best "If you insist" grin.

}~

River pushed past Kaylee's stunned form and danced onto the deck grating in the console room of the TARDIS.

"It's..." Kaylee couldn't get the thoughts to conform. Both River and The Doctor rolled their eyes.

"Yeah." The Doctor confirmed the unfinished thought.

"But..." Her head slowly turned to the right and kept on going, taking her body with it in a corkscrew of confusion. "It's..."

"What?" Asked Wash who was trapped outside, behind Kaylee

"Bigger." River helped. "Displaces no space in the realm of our awareness. Just pokes her head out the door to see what it's like."

Kaylee swallowed, trying to wet her throat as she took in the daunting amount of space this ship encompassed. Wash poked her between the shoulder blades and she took a couple distracted steps forward. He stepped into the TARDIS and gave a long, low whistle.

"Well, this shouldn't be so hard." Wash directed his light hearted sarcasm at Kaylee.

}~

Kaylee walked backward, dragging the heavy, corrugated plastic carton toward the TARDIS door. Once the Doctor had started pulling out spare parts and usable scraps she had all but forgotten the incongruity of the TARDIS' "spatial displacement" (as river put it.) Something about the strange lighting and the way the ship hummed through the deck plating had lulled Kaylee's confusion, leaving only a homey, welcome feeling.

"AH! Here you go, Wash!" The Doctor's voice was muffled by the giant storage container that he had stuck his head and upper body into. "Some glass fiber cabling for the view screen in the cockpit. I was noticing that the video feed is getting a little fuzzy..."

Wash grabbed the cabling out of the air as the Doctor tossed it haphazardly over his shoulder. He looked over the frayed bundle, shrugged and stuffed it into the box tucked under his arm.

}~

"How's the repairs comin along?" Mal asked as he poked his head into the engine room.

Lately it had become a down-right frightening place. The Doctor had given them some generic spare parts; cables, filters, programmable circuit boards and the like, so Kaylee had gone on a fixing spree, dragging Wash along for the spare fingers. Wires and cables were strung all over the place; component casings were opened and there doors set wherever they happened to be put down; there was a random pipe laying to the side in the corridor, there were faded brown boots twitching under the console in the cockpit...

"Just peachy, Cap'n..." Kaylee replied distractedly as she pulled on yet another bundle of wiring. She picked up one foot and braced it against the wall to pull with better leverage.

"Did you know the Doctor left his boots in the cockpit?" Mal stepped all the way into the engine room and waited behind Kaylee, thinking that it looked similar to a graphic he'd once seen of a dog's heart, infested with heartworm.

"OH!" Kaylee grimaced a little as she pulled, "Don't worry, Cap'n! He's under there with 'em." The wires she was tugging suddenly let go dumping her into Mal's open arms.

"Hey! Nice catch!" She said, far from being embarrassed about falling over.

"Sure." Mal grunted. "No visitin with Simon while my ship's in bits." Kaylee swatted the back of his shoulder as he walked out of the room. Then the proximity klaxons started wailing.

}~

**As always, review please?**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm terribly sorry this has taken so long, folks! Thanks to ** _**The Sorrowful Vampress **_**and my Darling Hubby for kicking this story into gear!**

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**I do not own any of the titles, characters or settings referred to directly or indirectly.  
**

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When Mal swept onto the bridge Wash and The Doctor were trading rapid spatial equations and the Doctor looked about to wet himself.

"What the hell is goin on?" He asked

"Ah, year 2517? The humans of Earth have mainly populated other planets leaving the Greater American Continent to several genetically altered species of Great Apes, but that's mostly sunk under the Mississippi Sea anyways. Lan Beta has finally rebuilt after the Dalek attack that wiped out every city on the planet then moved on to the Second Dalek War, completely ravaged many worlds, lasting decades, exterminating hundreds of _billions_ of Humans, Draconians and pretty much every other creature that got in their way-"

"Here, Doctor!" Mal interrupted his high speed rant, "_Here. _What's going on, here?"

"There's a ship coming up on us, Mal" Wash interjected.

"A ship?" Asked Jayne who was hanging by one arm from the door frame.

"Yes," Wash glanced at him, "Ape man."

"Is it Revers?" Jayne asked, on edge. "Or the Alliance?"

"Neither, I'm afraid..." The Doctor checked the readings again, "That's what I was getting to. That's a Dalek ship."

"You mean to say as a bunch of bloodthirsty creatures is gonna invade _my_ gorram ship?"

"No, no..." The Doctor comforted, "More than likely they'll simply blow it up."

Mal let out a colorful string of curses in English and Chinese and Jayne swung himself, backward, out of the door frame and raced down the hall toward his bunk, presumably to strap an armory to his body.

Mal hit the com button and screamed: "_KAYLEE!"_

"I'm on it Mal!" Kaylee's voice responded, "I'm gettin her patched back up right now."

"Be quick about it!"

The inter-ship communications alert chirped and Wash opened the channel automatically, despite both The Doctor and Mal waving their arms and yelling "NO!"

The speakers in the cockpit crackled to life. "We are the Daleks," A grainy, metallic voice stated, "Surrender The Doctor and we will exterminate you quickly."

Mal looked at The Doctor and shrugged. "That ain't much of an offer."

"We will not compromise." The voice continued, "We will destroy your ship."

The Doctor frowned. "That's not how Daleks word things..."

There was an odd clicking sound then a new voice came over the speakers.

"Just kidding!" A sweet-sounding feminine voice replaced the ominous metal one. "Erm... Can I come aboard? These dustbins aren't much fun frozen."

"Excuse me?" Mal started to get red in the face and The Doctor's mouth dropped open.

"I can transport myself, no need to send a shuttle."

"Just wait a gorram minute!" Mal demanded, "Just _who_ do you think you are?"

"Well..." The voice sounded as if it was forced through a wide grin, "I'm Jenny."

The Doctor's face had gone white. "Jenny...?" He said softly.

There suddenly appeared a crackling lance of light and a fit blonde appeared in the corridor leading to the bridge. The Doctor jumped out of his seat at the secondary console, rushed across the bridge shoving Mal out of his way and dashing to the girl to catch her just before she stumbled and fell.

"Ooooh... packs a wallop, that one..." the girl, Jenny groaned. "Anyone got a cuppa tea?"

"Jenny!" The Doctor helped her to her feet looking from her to the Dalek ship in the view port and back. "What... how... _You're dead!_"

"Nice to see you again, too, Dad!" She grinned as he released her then fell again.

"Whoa!" Jayne exclaimed as he caught her even though he was still trying to juggle an arm load of weaponry.

Jenny pulled herself up and leaned against Jayne's chest, facing him. "Well, hello there! Who's this?"

"I'm-" Jayne started.

"_NO!_" The Doctor interrupted him.

"_Jayne..._" Mal looked at Jayne warningly.

"Hey now!" Jayne almost pulled off a fake hurt look. "I caught 'er! I should at least know 'er name!"

"Is that a pistol in your pocket," Jenny murmured with a cocky grin. "Or are you just happy to see me?"

"Oh, that's Lucy." He said and pulled away from the blonde just enough to dig the gun out of his pocket. Jenny looked shocked for a moment then pouted a little before turning back to The Doctor. The Doctor looked upset.

"What's gotten into you?" He asked, "Wait, have you been palling around with Jack?"

"Jack Harkness?" She flashed him a bright grin. "No! Well just a little..."

"And how did you get thirty five _hundred_ years into your past?"

"What?" She looked him up and down. "You do it all the time!"

"I've got the TARDIS."

"And, so..."

"And I've got a captain-less ship hanging in space off my bow!" Mal exclaimed in an exasperated tone.

"Right, then." Jenny strutted up to Mal. "Shouldn't you be putting that well a stern? Don't know _when_ those things are going to wake!"

"Oh, no!" The Doctor exclaimed in a panic. "There's still Dalek on there? We've got to destroy that thing!"

"And just how do you per-pose we do that, Doc?" Jayne demanded as he strapped yet another gun on. "this is a cargo ship; Ain't got no guns... least ways on the outside."

"Then we'll just have to rig it to blow up." The Doctor made the last P of his statement pop between his lips.

"Blow up an entire ship?" Jayne got a little misty eyed as he thought about it. "I'll be right back."

"See?" Mal threw his hands up in the direction Jayne had departed..

"Yeah!" Wash added as he punched buttons and flipped switches, "How are we ever gonna get him down for his nap, now that you told him Christmas is coming!"

}~

"OK," Mal was standing in the cargo bay with a large box, addressing the crew of Serenity, and Jenny. "I'll set first so you can see how it's done, then you'll be off to set the rest." He continued by giving the crew specific sections of the ship to focus on.

"Now I'm tellin ya, Jayne, I don't know if you'll need that much fire-power..." The Doctor told Jayne as they walked down the docking ramp.

"Then you don't know if I don't." Jayne growled, slinking along the alien corridor.

"True, true..." The Doctor eyed him warily, then relented. "Oh well, not much quibbling to be done now." Jayne just grunted.

"Jayne, is it?" Jenny asked, coming up behind them. "I don't believe we've been introduced. I'm Jenny!"

"Uh, Hello...?" Jayne greeted her but his eyes flicked to The Doctor who was pantomiming something until Jenny looked at him and he scratched his belly.

"Pay no attention to him." Jenny scowled at her father. "We didn't spend much of my childhood together."

"Hey, now! That's not fair!" The Doctor sputtered, "You were, were... _Hatched_ from a cloning machine, full grown! You didn't _have _a childhood!"

"Precisely!" She yelled back then turned to take in Jayne's shocked face. "Hey there, lover, do you think you could loan a gal a gun?"

"Nu-uh! I ain't got nearly enough as it is!"

"What? You're kiddin me!" Jenny rebutted, "You've got to have fifteen weapons on ya!"

"Like I said!" Jayne argued stubbornly, "Not nearly enough."

"But..." Jenny's face dropped into a pout but there was a sly sparkle in her eyes. "What if there's trouble?" she purred. "Would you want to have to protect me every step of the way?"

"Oh..." Jayne knew _this_ game. "I'll protect ya."

"No, _no_! No one's going to be _protecting_ anyone." The Doctor butted in again, "Jenny, just use your own gun. You don't know where his have been."

"Hey!" Jayne complained, but Jenny only sighed and turned away to head further into the Dalek ship.

They crept along, stopping every so often for Jayne to fix an explosive to a particular type of bulkhead before continuing.

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**There we go! I hope you've enjoyed it!**

**For those of you having trouble, this is the Matt Smith Doctor. I am aware of the slip of the color on the Sonic Screwdriver. For heaven's sake; The Doctor is The Doctor no matter what face he has on!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so sorry this hacs taken so long! I was stuck on my Walking dead fic... :")**

**I don't own any of this!**

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The weight of the weapon in Simon's hand was heavy and rather ungainly as he walked as quietly as possible alongside Zoe's lythe but formidable form. She always kind of scared him.

"What're you afraid of, doctor?" Zoe was looking at him from the corner of her eye.

"Oh..." He sighed, trying his best to sound light hearted. "Only cyborgs bent on annihilating the Human race. I don't suppose we'll find any of those in here, will we?"

"Don't be silly." Zoe replied with an ironic smirk and stopped to plant one of the incendiaries on the bulkhead at a junction. "Nobody here, but us chickens."

Simon snorted and held up the map that Jenny had drawn them. "This way..." he pointed down the right-hand fork. The hall they took gently curved to the left and ramped up. They walked along it for a while, planting bombs in silence.

"What sorta cargo do you suppose these creatures carry?" Zoe asked softly to no one in particular.

"I don't know," Simon replied out of habit, "The Doctor said they don't need to eat or drink or clothe themselves... What _would_ creatures like that need to transport?"

"Soldiers." River's voice came from behind them, "Hundreds and hundreds of them..."

"River!" Simon scolded her, "You're supposed to be on the ship!"

"I am..." she cocked her head at her brother in that way she had of telling him he was being inane.

"She's got ya there, doc." Zoe said trying not to smile.

"You are not helping." He told Zoe, then turned back to River. "Serenity, Mei mei. It's dangerous on this ship."

"Don't worry, Simon." River cocked her head in the other direction, "I'll protect you."

Zoe gagged on her laughter and Simon shot her an evil look. "No, River." Simon shook his head. "Go back to Serenity."

"Oh! Simon!" River giggled, "Such a kidder!" She stepped around her brother and continued down the hall, stopping at the huge set of solid looking doors that barred their path. "We're already here!"

"So we are..." Zoe muttered. "How do you suppose we're gonna get these open?"

River sidestepped again and placed her palm on a round patch in the wall paneling. She was humming a pretty tune Simon vaguely remembered from their childhood. She hummed the tune up to the middle of the refrain then stopped and hummed the same note over and over again, getting first louder, then softer. She smiled to herself and belted out the note. The round patch twisted itself off the wall and fell, clattering to the floor.

"I think I can handle it from here, River..." Zoe pulled a manual spanner out of the satchel that held the explosives as she walked up to the hole in the wall. She looked at the exposed wiring for a moment then stuck the tool into the wall and fiddled with something that Simon couldn't see. Sparks shot out and Zoe yanked her arm out of the hole checking it for scorching. She jabbed her arm in a second time and fiddled some more producing a low motorized rumbling in the floor beneath their feet. The reinforced portal in front of them ground open, irising just wide enough to allow one person at a time to slide through before halting.

River stepped through the round opening followed by Zoe, then Simon. Simon finished pulling himself through the gap then turned his body around and nearly bounced off Zoe. He looked up and gasped. As far as his eyes could see were stacked machines. Row-upon-row of blunted conical... things, all darkened for storage.

}~

Kaylee stepped out of the corridor and looked around the engine room of the alien ship. She was surprised to see that a lot of the components were the same here as she had seen in Serenity and other ships' engines over the years.

Mal, however, looked around as though he was completely lost. "You think you can rig this rats' nest to blow?"

"I dunno, Mal..." Kaylee said, shaking her head. She was certain she could, but she had heard once that you should never tell your Captain the complete truth about a thing, if you want to be considered a miracle worker, "It may take a while."

"How long is 'a while'?" Mal frowned at her impatiently.

"I dunno..." She looked around the room again, her eyes finding the conduits and interfaces she needed to access. It might take thirty minutes. "A couple hours...?"

"Well, hop to it, missy!" Mal swung his arms in a wide gesture, "We ain't got a couple hours and I want this puppy to make a big enough boom to stop it dead in the water, if it tries to follow us!"

"OK, OK!" She made a shooing gesture, "Why don't you just go put those fireworks somewhere useful an I'll do what I can! Come back an get me when yer done."

Mal grumbled something unintelligible, and probably unintelligent under his breath as he walked off. Meanwhile Kaylee poked and prodded at the inner workings of the Dalek ship.

}~

Deep inside the alien ship, where no one could see, a small light blinked. The light was answered by another and that one was repeated by a few more. Then there was nothing. The blinking had stopped.

A few moments later another light blinked in a different place and in a different sequence, other lights replied. Then the lights stopped blinking.

Waste gases were released into space changing the course of the connected ships but Serenity automatically corrected and their course stabilized. Wash turned off the auto-correction indicator and returned to his dinosaurs.

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**Oooooh! What's next? Follow it with that lil check-box right down there so you can see! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry this one's a shorty! I just couldn't get any more out of it for this chapter.**

**Thanks, everyone for your great reviews! This story's almost done so I'm actively soliciting new ideas :) If you have anything you'd like to read, please feel free to drop me a line!**

**As always, I don't own Doctor Who or Firefly.**

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"Noooow..." The Doctor's sharp cheek bone was flush against the wall, flattening the side of his face and he was waiving the sonic screwdriver around over his head, "Where _is_ that locking mechanism...? AH!" Jenny heard a small click under the tremolo whine of the sonic then felt a low, rumbling machine noise through the soles of her boots. The circular door to the bridge started to iris open and Jayne strode toward it.

"Nice work, Doc." Jayne thumped the skinnier man on the back as he passed, shoving him off-balance a little and making him stumble forward.

"Yeah, dad." Jenny grabbed onto The Doctor, steadying him. "Nice waving a sonic around." She was a bit miffed at him for cutting into her fun with the big mercenary.

"No trouble at all, you two..." His voice became hushed when they walked through the portal and onto the Dalek bridge. "No... trouble..."

They stood just inside the cavernous room and gaped at their surroundings bit before The Doctor made shooing motions, reminding them to plant the charges while he fiddled with a large console toward the rear of the bridge.

Jayne took one side of the bridge, while Jenny took the other side affixing the small, but powerful explosives to different structures around the room. Jenny placed her last explosive at the opposite end of the ovoid room and turned around just in time to see Jayne bend over to place his last bomb not five feet from her.

She felt a wicked grin crease her face and she reached toward Jayne, tweaking his bum with a sharp pinch. Jayne jumped and jerked his head into the underside of the console he had worked with. He let loose a vile stream of profanity in two different languages before crawling out from under the shelf and slowly standing.

"What the hell, girl?" Jayne demanded, red-faced as he rubbed the back of his skull.

"What?" Jenny asked with a dead-panned innocent face. "Just admiring a good thing."

"There's a time and a place for... stuff." he finished his sentence with a bit of a lame aire.

"I quite agree!" The Doctor put his two credits worth in. "And this is neither then nor there!"

"I'm done, here, Doc." Jayne announced.

"Me too!" Jenny chimed in pertly.

"Well, then..." The Doctor stiffened and his smile faded when his eyes passed over the console behind Jayne. "Oh, dear..."

}~

"Simon...?" River said softly, panic putting an edge into her tone. "_SIMON!_"

Simon rushed to her side and Zoe hissed at her to be quiet from somewhere behind another row of deactivated Daleks. Simon grabbed one of River's hands and the other elbow but she was already trying to twist away toward the exit.

"Mei Mei," He tried to comfort her, "We'll leave just as soon as we're done with these."

"No!" Tears were streaming down her face, "Nonononono! They'll take your bodies and leave the eyes; rip your soul out through your ears; make you hate, Hate, _Hate_; then stuff the eyes in a box so you can't see..." She was in full melt-down, crying and trying to jerk out of Simon's grasp to run away.

"No, Mei Mei." Simon tried to calm her with logic and soothing tones. "They're asleep. They won't get you. See?" He reached over and tapped on the hull of a dormant Dalek.

"_NO!_" She screamed and knocked his hand off the brushed metal surface. Too late. A faint blue light flickered on inside the thing's eyestalk and it swiveled around to orient on the siblings.

"In-tru-der!" It's gravelly voice was inflectionless and synthesized. Simon scanned the rows of cyborgs in front of him, noting that all of them were showing signs of reactivation. "Intruder... _INTRUDER!_"

"Ahh... Zoe?" Simon yelled over his shoulder at her.

"Yeah, I see." She came up behind him. "Let's get back to Serenity. I don't feel like finding out what they do to intruders."

A chill shot down Simon's back as the rest of the troops of Dalek slowly took up the mantra, then started chanting a new word:

"_**EX-TER-MIN-ATE!**_"

}~

Mal set the last of his explosive bundles and returned to the engine room just in time to catch Kaylee in his arms as she bolted out of the portal at full speed and nearly bounced off him.

"Whoa, there!" Mal chuckled, "Where's the fire? Were you leavin without me?"

"Mal!" Her eyes were wide and he could feel her heart pumping like a train engine against him. "The Doctor just radioed down! We gotta get outta here!"

"Sure thing." Mal let her go. "What's goin on? You done in there?"

"Done enough!" She tugged on his arm, trying to get him to move faster, "He said that he thinks those Dalek things are wakin up."

Mal followed Kaylee down the corridor making sure to keep clear of the tools swinging haphazard in the satchel slung behind her back. They turned the corner onto the main corridor and almost ran into a large, tapered, metal barrel with a ball-end rod protruding from it's domed top. Kaylee gave a little squeak and froze wide-eyed in front of the thing. The dome top slowly swung its rod around to point at Kaylee and Mal jerked her out of the way just before it shot out a bolt of white blue light.

Mal dragged Kaylee further back down the hall toward the alien engine room. His hand was on her arm and he could feel the slight tremble of her muscles as she fought to keep her fear in check.

"What are we gunna do, Mal" She whined softly at him.

"For starters; find a way off this ship." He had no idea how they were going to get back to Serenity, now that their path was blocked, but he knew he didn't have much time before the whole place became full of holes.

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**Reviews! There's an ap for that... or at least a button, right?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry this has taken so long! Things are coming to a head now!**

**As always, I do not own anything in these stories, none of the characters, equipment, creatures or references to other awesome stuff is mine. I'm just spreadin the love!  
**

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The roof of the Doctor's mouth was dry, his hearts' beat was accelerated and his vision brightened with deeper colors as his pupils dilated. Gods! But he did love this feeling.

Their boots made echoing staccato beats as he led Jayne and Jenny down the Dalek corridor at a dead run. Funny phrase, that. Dead running... Who thinks of these things? Well... there was that time...

He skidded to a halt at the airlock connection where they were all supposed to meet up again. No one but them had gotten there yet.

"Uh, Doc?" Jayne wanted his attention.

"Yes, yes, I know..." He was busy trying to access the computer systems from the access terminal built into the wall by the airlock.

"Doc, I think-" Jayne hadn't finished when the Doctor cut him off again.

"Yes!" he barked at the mercenary, "I know!"

"_Dad!" _Jenny yelled at him, she of all people should know better.

"Jenny, I haven't got time to play with your friends right now." he turned to size up the three Dalek that had come up behind them. "I'm sure you two can handle them." Then he turned back to the terminal. From behind him he heard muttering and cursing then a Dalek ultimatum.

"_Cease all disruptive activity or be exterminated!" _A gravely, synthesized voice demanded. The terminal in front of them crackled and spat sparks into the corridor.

"Ah!" The Doctor said with an air of satisfaction. "That's alright! I'm done anyhow!"

There was a loud _CLUNK_ and a whirring noise that vibrated through the soles of their boots. The airlock shuddered and shifted a bit then all was still until the Dalek started transmitting wildly in combination bursts of light, sound and other radiation energies.

"_You will come with us!_" The Dalek who had placed himself in front of the formation demanded. They didn't seem to know who he was either.

"Nooo..." The Doctor refused, "I don't think we will."

"What did'ja do, Doc?" Jayne thought murmuring out of the side of his face was discreet.

"I disengaged their docking tether system."

"A whut?" Jayne looked like a cow trying to fix a rubik's cube without touching it.

"They'd tied us down," Jenny cut in, "And I'm not sure they were going to do nice things to us."

"Oh." Jayne did not look at all like he understood.

"I think we should get out of here..." Jenny suggested as the Dalek advanced.

"_You WILL come with us..._" The lead Dalek repeated.

"Ah... _Run!_" The Doctor said as he turned toward the airlock and bolted. "Aim for the eyestalks!"

Jenny already had her weapon out as she back toward Serenity.

}~

Zoe took aim at the thing in front of them and fired right into the glowing protrusion in the domed top of the weird machine. It gave off a burst of sparks and static sound then started transmitting distress signals on all wavelengths.

River had already dashed out the cargo bay door and Simon was gingerly, but quickly skirting around the screaming cyborg to follow her.

Zoe took a few strong strides to the door and squeezed out before the other things could get to her. He breathing was calm, her pulse steady and her mind working with a computer's precision. She didn't like to fight, but she was good at it. If you can't do what you're good at, then what are you good for?

She pulled her radio transmitter off her belt. "Wash!" She yelled, even though she knew he'd hear her. "We've got a situation..."

"Yeah, Sweetness, I know." Wash's voice sounded strained. "Serenity is reporting the other ship has locked us down. I can't get her disengaged."

"I think we woke these Dalek things up." Zoe stated, matter-of-fact as she sprinted down the hallway. She almost smiled at the stream of cute, mild curses that came out of her radio.

"Didn't The Doctor say that these things were _bad_. As in, kill your mother... and _everything else on a whole planet,_ kind of bad?"

"That's about what I heard, yes." She swerved to the side of the corridor to avoid being blasted by one of the creatures who had managed to stick it's lighted stalk out of the opening in the irising cargo bay door.

"Did you at least get those things set?"

"Just about..." She scooted out of range and further down the passage.

"'Just about'? Love-of-my-life, I don't think this is a 'Just about' kinda thing."

"Wash." She put a little stern tone in her voice.

"Yes dear?"

"Not now." She dodged around a corner and caught sight of Simon, holding River to him tightly and peeking around the next corner. "I'm a lil busy." She clicked the radio off and clipped it back onto her belt.

She reached the corner that Simon and River were peeking around and took a look for herself. Three dalek were in the middle of the next junction, blocking their way and their view into the airlock.

She checked her chrono, then her ammo. They didn't have time to wait for the Dalek to break camp. She handed a pistol to Simon as she heard The Doctor's voice yell from the airlock.

"_Aim for the eyestalks!_" His voice rang out as if he were yelling to her. But he couldn't even see them hiding here, so that was inane.

She swung into the next passageway and started firing at the eyestalks and the crevice between the turret dome and the conical body. Someone, presumably Jayne and Jenny, started firing from inside the airlock, as well.

Zoe took shot after shot, each of them hitting their marks, but none of them doing too much. The Dalek were firing their light beams but not hitting much of anything. Their beams didn't ricochet, they just seemed to absorb into the odd metal walls.

One after one the things were blinded and sent out distress signals. After the third was incapacitated, Zoe heard The Doctor yell out to them: "_Hurry up then! Ther'll be more!_"

Alarm klaxon started howling up and down the corridors.

}~

Kaylee's heart was fluttering and her breath was coming in ragged gasps. She hated the feeling that she couldn't do anything to alter their situation. Tears started to crawl down the sides of her face as she realized that they were trapped.

"Stay behind me, now..." Mal suggested. Where else was she going to go?

She looked around the room through her blurry eyes. An engine room. She kinda always knew she'd die in one; just like she lived and breathed in them. She just had thought it would be one she loved. Not this hunk of cold-but-efficient junk. The sharp planes and enamelless surfaces just had no character at all.

In a fit of random, perverse neuron firings, she remembered the lip color that Inara had given her. It was shoved deep into a pocket of her favorite jumpsuit... this jumpsuit.

She pulled out the black and gold tube, uncapped it and twisted the base to push the creamy stick of color up. She walked over to the nearest blank, flat surface and started to draw. A huge heart; Stars; planetoids... Mal came over to her and tugged on her arm.

"What the gorram-hell do you think you're doing, missy?" He went on like that, but she tuned him out. She was just trying to give this place a little love before she died in it.

'Kaylee (heart)'s Simon' she scrawled with the last of the makeup. The tears were streaming down her face now. The only reason she could see her scribblings at all was the bright petal pink stood out so well on the light brushed metal.

She stood back to admire her handiwork, sniffled a bit and nodded. She walked over to the main control panel of the engines and input a program that would forcibly cross all the energy leads with the drive mater intake while closing off all of the exhaust.

Mal was screaming and pulling on her. She stomped on the top of his foot so he'd leave her alone long enough for her to be able to finish and initialize the program.

Warning sirens started going off, quicker than she thought they would, but she knew there would be alarms.

The main engine housing was heating so much that the metal of the encasing chamber walls were starting to heat to a dull red.

"Set the bombs for five minutes, Cap'n." She said with no inflection. "This may not take the whole ship."

"What do you mean?" He yelled at her. "What have you done?!"

She just walked over to the secondary control for the bombs that Mal had set on the floor. She set its simple controls to transmit the ignition sequence in five minutes, then set it back on the floor.

The next five minutes seemed to take an eternity in a lightning flash. Time was distorted in her head. The wall separating the engineering room from the actual engines started glowing brighter; turning from red to orange to yellow to white. She was sweating, but no longer crying; her tears dried on her heated skin. Mal was shooting into the corridor, then he threw his gun in too. Out of ammo.

The light in the room was brightening and Kaylee was having trouble concentrating through the searing heat. She sat on the floor and Mal came to sit next to her. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Is it just me, or is this place steaming hot?" He asked her.

"I love you Cap'n..." Her voice trailed off as her eyelids got heavy. Her body was giving up the fight against the heat.

"I knew it was me..." He put an arm around her as the world faded to white.

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**One chapter left, people! Read and Review! I love your feedback!**


	7. Chapter 7

**And here it is folks! Sorry it's so short, but it's a great place to continue later ;-)**

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Kaylee opened her eyes, boldly looking into the burning light like a child staring at the Sun. Defying it to take her sight from her.

She could, almost, hear voices floating out of the diffuse void. Most of them were hectically calling for her attention. Screaming at her something fierce. Yelling for her to stay with them; don't let go!

One voice, though... Clear and melodic. A woman's voice, cutting through the fuzzy, excited chatter like a clean, cold wind on a hot day.

" *:_Kaylee...:* _" The Voice called to her. Did she know her? This ethereal woman? That Voice sounded so familiar to her with it's warm, pulsating undertones.

A beautiful face floated forward from the brilliant, milky light. A familiar stranger. The mist parted, revealing a young blonde woman. Her straight golden hair was parted sharply and fell straight to her shoulders. Her eyes glowed with a inner fire so bright that it threatened to consume her entire skull.

She was an all-consuming benevolent beauty and a healing, cleansing fire. Her smile though... Her smile was like an old mother's ageless love and a young lover's longing. She held out her hand for Kaylee. "*•´¯`•*_He needs you, your Doctor, as mine needs me. Maybe, more...? *_•´¯`•*"

Kaylee took the proffered hand and the dream girl fluctuated, turning into Simon. The Simon in her death dream held onto her arm tightly... pulling her into him... holding her tight, close. She pressed her stiff, hot cheek to the crisp fabric of his cool vest and inhaled his light, spicy musk. He kissed the top of her head.

If this was Heaven, she would gladly lay here forever. _Forever..._

She opened her eyes to watch Jayne and Zoe pull Mal in the thin, wooden door frame then cover him with a wet blanket. His back was red and blistered through his charred shirt like he'd been shielding something from the heat with his own body. She closed her eyes then to continue enjoying her own Reward.

Her eyes snapped open when she was painfully shifted then something cool and wet was wrapped around her. She closed her eyes again, reveling in the cold comfort. She dreamt of lying in the snow and watching a clear sky full of stars. There was a thick blue streak across the star field that she could follow with her eyes all the way across the sky.

When next she woke she was being transferred from the TARDIS to Serenity. Simon and Jenny had her on a canvas tarp while Jane and Zoe had Mal's limp form on a sturdy orange stretcher.

A wave of hot pain hit her like a frying pan to the chest when they laid her out on the countertop in the infirmary and she passed out in a nauseous delirium.

There was a cold, sharp pain in her neck now... the bite of ice melted into soft calm that spread down her throat and arm, crawling along her spine to cradle her back to sleep in a soft blanket of medication.

"¤¸¸.•´¯`•¸¸.•* _Good bye, Kaylee! *_•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸¤" The Voice called to her. The Voice expanded, building to a crescendo then swooping down low again; pausing, then inhaling with a groaning swoosh.

'_It's THAT, Mal..._' She thought at him in her delirium, as she recognized The Voice. '_That's the noise! _'

"๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°`°๑ ۩ * _See You Soon!_ * ۩ ๑,¸¸,ø¤º°`°๑۞๑"

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**Read and Review! Thanks for following it through :D I could have never done this without your support and great words, Kind and critical alike.**

**3 }~Leigh**


	8. Preview

**Preview of "Death Dance" **

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They had drove the Mule toward the hills then set out a-foot to poke around in search of a good hidey hole. They climbed the hardscrabble hill under the hot sun looking for a cave or some nook that could serve as a fortified hold for a few days, Jayne always kept the moonbrain in sight no matter how she wandered about. He didn't want to deal with the fuss her spoiled brother would pitch if she got her crazy-ass lost on this goram moon.

He had peeled the top of his jumper off and was just finished tying the arms around his waist when he noticed that she had stopped suddenly and cocked her head at something just around a big boulder and out of his sight. He caught the sound of her voice cooing calm and as he rounded the bend the sight of the nasty bugger stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Come away from there, girl." He said in an artificially even tone as he tugged at her elbow, eyes fixed on the green-black, triangle shaped head not ten feet in front of her. It whistled and clicked at her then rushed forward on it's multiple stick-like legs and took a small chunk from the skin of her shin with it mouth-claw thingys. She had made not a sound but jerked her leg back then shot it square between its multi-faceted eyes.

A strange mix of fear, pride and arousal flushed through Jayne as he watched the giant insect jerk and twitch then finally quiet and give up an awful pong. He was prodding the still and stinking body with his boot when he heard a rustling noise just up the hill. They both looked up to see several more triangle heads poke over the crest of the hill. _Larger Heads._

"Shit." Was all he said as he pulled out both of his pistols and started to back away.

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**Preview of "A Little Meddling Never Hurt"**

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The alley had gotten very narrow, all sudden-like. Jayne knew that River was about to go all crazy killing machine on these two any moment now, but he was also aware of that shotgun pointing in his direction. The loaded, cocked and ready-to-fire shotgun. He shifted his weight away from the doorway;his hopes were set on throwing himself out of the way of the shot blast once the kidnapper killin got underway.

"No, it's ok." River seemed to answer his thoughts, "I'll go with you. Please don't shoot my friends?" Jayne couldn't help but roll his eyes... Not this again.

The girl strutted up to the bar keep, pretty as you please. She suddenly grabbed the barrel of the gun with her left hand and pushed it right up into the Black. Completely unbalanced by her sudden offencive, the barkeep yelled and discharged the gun into the air.

Jayne started moving before the smell of gunpowder and River's burnt flesh hit his nose. She had pulled her hand in, tucking her left arm around her body, under her breasts and was giving the fat store owner a hard shove-kick to the chest, pushing him back on his rear into the building. She stepped back and turned about-face to press her back against the building's outer wall, letting Sherlock dash inside around her.

Jayne hopped the limp body in front of him and tackled the barkeep about the middle slamming him into the door post then pushing him to the ground. He lifted the man up by the shoulders and slammed him down on the wood flooring to daze him. The man's eyes rolled up into his head and he was still.

The store keep crawled across the floor, scrabbling for the shotgun while unsuccessfully dodging several brutal kicks to the ribs from Sherlock's pretty-boy shoes. Just as the fat man got his chubby hands on the gun Jayne heard the heavy click and high-pitched whine of Mal's favorite gun cocking.

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**You can find both of these fine works of fan fiction in my story list!**


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